Written for Read, the metro magazine just after 2013 thwacked us in the head.

Bulging with festivity

 The festive season has drawn to a groaning close, straining livers, wallets and shirt buttons. As everyone starts the year with good intentions, and the gyms are full of dedicated athletes who will last at least the week, every mind burns with a singular question. How best to hide that annoying festive bulge and those holiday love handles?

 You might take recourse to the standard black t-shirt in a larger size. Black is slimming and can trim a silhouette when paired with dark jeans.

 But what about those who can’t run around in black tees all day, and actually need to dress up? The logical inclination is to go buy a couple of large shirts, and wrap them sack-like around a torso that mightn’t be as svelte as it was a month back.

 But here lies the ugly rub. If the buttons are straining apart, by all means by a slightly larger shirt to tide yourself over for a few weeks. But don’t fall into the pitfall of thinking a completely oversized shirt will hide your fall from physical grace. Work shirts are generally light coloured, and a large slab of white material that flaps around when tucked in will make one look bigger, not the other way around. And please avoid all temptation to leave a dress shirt untucked. Their hems and length are designed for fitting into trousers. Leaving them swinging in the wind will just make you look unkempt as well as unfit. Best of luck sticking to those resolutions for at least a week!