Wordpres-is-Superman

Marriage! Marriage! Marriage!

Right. Now that I firmly have your attention, my nuptials to an amazing woman were perhaps the reason I completely missed the entire furore over Posterous shutting down. Well, I suppose that is always the risk of free services – they don’t owe you ANYTHING. Yes. Twitter. Facebook. Gmail. All FREE services. That, if the numbers don’t work out for some reason or another, have the right to go gentle into that good night.

Now, this storm in a teacup might otherwise have passed me by, except for one important fact. Hishamwyne.com, my primary domain, was pointing at my Posterous blog, which in turn housed all my work published over the past few years. Suddenly, there was a wee bit of urgency around, given that I had chosen to stumble onto Posterous’ incipient demise mere days before it would violently vanish.

It was a matter of minutes to convince Posterous to regurgitate an XML backup – at least they’ve been good that way. In a couple more of those minutes,  that XML moved all my words over to an existing wordpress blog.

Then I ran face-first into a bit of a snag. All my data might be safe, but hishamwyne.com still had to be told to change its mind and point to wordpress.com. This was a bit of a feat of impossible derring do at first, not least because there’s a stupendous amount of material out there to do with  wordpress – moving to a wordpress.org blog, moving to a self-hosted domain, making an omelette without breaking eggs, convincing helium it is in fact a potato and not a gas lighter than air, bringing back Charlie Chaplin through a spot of necromancy, etc.

But eventually truth dawned. All that was required was to point those pesky Godaddy domain nameservers to wordpress. And then give wordpress a few grammes of flesh by paying for a domain mapping upgrade. And voila! This is the new landing page for hishamwyne.com.

WordPress saves the day. Image above gratuitously stolen from Google search results. And the great migration actually turned into a rapid exercise in respraying signposts on the Interwebs.

Creative this. Very creative. It’s an ad for a pushup bra by French agency Valege. The campaign’s point of view is “together at last.” Because its a pushup bra. See what they did there?

Things that make you think...

Ran into this verbally titillating copy through a twitter link leading to a twitter link leading to a twitter link.

Sorta reads like Van Gogh had written it at the height of his mercury poisoning, holding his ear in the other hand. But strangely beautiful anyhow.

Image  —  Posted: 03/02/2013 in Uncategorized
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The Angry Pirates at the Creek . Left to Right – Yousef Tuqan, me, Meredith Tuqan, Rabih Altair

Friday was the day where we rose grumpily, eyelids complaining at being forced open and knees knocking together, to run the Dubai Creek Relay. Organized by the Dubai Creek Hash House Harriers, the Feb 1st run was the 19th time and 19th year people have trundled up and down the creek. Quite the tradition.

The Creek Hash House Harriers describe themselves as “a drinking club with a running problem” – an apt characterization. And the club’s full of colourful characters, with nom de plumes like “Legs Akimbo”, “Arsehole”, “Compressed fart” and my two particular favourites – “Pedo Pan” and “Tranny Granny”.

The idea of ‘hashing’ is interesting. Near as I can figure it, with a bit of help from erstwhile running partner Yousef Tuqan, it’s a Brit military term that roughly indicates examining, investigating, and sorting out on the rough and ready. The Hasher run then doesn’t offer you the tarmacked creature comforts of, say, the Dubai Marathon. In fact, my first leg was through soft sand and construction. The utter joy!

We ran as the Angry Pirates – a term that has an etymology best looked up here.

Our team members for the day: Angry Pirates founder Yousef Tuqan, Meredith Tuqan, Rabih Altair and yours truly.

We kicked off w/ a briefing at the Boardwalk, Dubai Creek. The relay proper kicked off at the head of the Creek opposite the old Country Club and passed by the Flamingo Sanctuary following the edge of the water. The first changeover point was near the canal. Meredith ran our first leg, and took off like a bat out of hell.

The second leg followed the canal through and then eventually hit Al Jadaf Shipyard. Meredith passed me the baton, and I set off, with feet sinking into soft sand instantly. I tried chasing down the leader, but to little avail. Did shorten the gap a bit though.

Meredith ‘vined’ me coming in:

And so it continued.

Leg three, ran by Rabih, proceeded through the old fishing village before the first crossing at Business Bay Bridge finishing at the Honda Showroom. Then, it was Yousef going under the Garhoud bridge, along past the golf club, before the second crossing at the Maktoum Bridge near the Dubai Law Courts. From there, it was to the Shindaga Tunnel -Meredith again.

At the Shindaga, I took the baton again, chasing down this man.

It was all going according to plan. I love the old Dhow Wharfage area, and was running on concrete. And then, I got a bit lost near the changeover point at the Dubai Chamber of Commerce. I saw the leader’s head bobbing through some bushes, and took shortcuts through foliage to wind up pretty much neck in neck.

Rabih then ran from there to the golf club, crossing the Floating bridge to Wonderland. There, Yousef took the final leg and brought it home for us at the Dubai Creek. Here he is:

Brilliant day, and a gorgeous run with good friends. We came in at 3:16, which as Joe Akkawi said, makes us Jesus. Well short of our estimated time of 4 hours.

This running shtick isn’t half bad, ya know.  Time to strap on those running shoes and hit rain-swept Dubai for a bit.

Mansplaining

Posted: 31/01/2013 in Uncategorized

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I was researching the origins of this succinct way of describing the incredible self-satisfied twats men make of themselves when holding forth to the opposite gender. This is what the urban dictionary says about mansplaining:

“To explain in a patronizing manner, assuming total ignorance on the part of those listening. The mansplainer is often shocked and hurt when their mansplanation is not taken as absolute fact, criticized or even rejected altogether. “

And digging further back, this delightful piece by Rebecca Solnit was wot started it all.

Men Who Explain Things

“He cut me off soon after I mentioned Muybridge. “And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?”

So caught up was I in my assigned role as ingenue that I was perfectly willing to entertain the possibility that another book on the same subject had come out simultaneously and I’d somehow missed it. He was already telling me about the very important book — with that smug look I know so well in a man holding forth, eyes fixed on the fuzzy far horizon of his own authority.

So, Mr. Very Important was going on smugly about this book I should have known when Sallie interrupted him to say, “That’s her book.” Or tried to interrupt him anyway.”

Give it a read!

Bulging with festivity

Posted: 31/01/2013 in Uncategorized
Fat_person_in_boat

Written for Read, the metro magazine just after 2013 thwacked us in the head. 

Bulging with festivity

 The festive season has drawn to a groaning close, straining livers, wallets and shirt buttons. As everyone starts the year with good intentions, and the gyms are full of dedicated athletes who will last at least the week, every mind burns with a singular question. How best to hide that annoying festive bulge and those holiday love handles?

 You might take recourse to the standard black t-shirt in a larger size. Black is slimming and can trim a silhouette when paired with dark jeans.

 But what about those who can't run around in black tees all day, and actually need to dress up? The logical inclination is to go buy a couple of large shirts, and wrap them sack-like around a torso that mightn't be as svelte as it was a month back.

 But here lies the ugly rub. If the buttons are straining apart, by all means by a slightly larger shirt to tide yourself over for a few weeks. But don't fall into the pitfall of thinking a completely oversized shirt will hide your fall from physical grace. Work shirts are generally light coloured, and a large slab of white material that flaps around when tucked in will make one look bigger, not the other way around. And please avoid all temptation to leave a dress shirt untucked. Their hems and length are designed for fitting into trousers. Leaving them swinging in the wind will just make you look unkempt as well as unfit. Best of luck sticking to those resolutions for at least a week!

The Write Stuff

Posted: 13/12/2012 in Uncategorized
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The Write Stuff

Note: This article was written for Bespoke, and has been edited. Not sure how I feel about the edits.

Makers of luxury writing instruments, Montblanc, have developed a state-of-the-art bespoke nib programme that enhances the way we write the old-fashioned way.

Handwriting is a very personal thing. So linked to individuality is it that graphologists claim to be able to comment on the character and motivation of a writer from mere scraps of writing. Whether one believes in graphology or not, handwriting is beautifully idiosyncratic. It breathes life into otherwise static notes and lays bare the innermost thoughts of the writer with every correction, crossed out word or hesitant doodle for the reader to dissect. The process of creation with a pen is transparent, vulnerable and incalculably richer than the polished articles word processors produce.

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